ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
