Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize