That's intense
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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