When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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