he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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