i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
