You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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