I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
