i just had sex bonerless
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
