This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
