Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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