I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
