ya dads aren't the best wingmen
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize