he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
