no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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