my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
