What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize