The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
