we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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