it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
