Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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