yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
