I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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