4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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