I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
