NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you didnt know i had herpes?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
