Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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