Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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