You smell like a Billy Joel song
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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