Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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