so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
