i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
