She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
