When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize