She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
