But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
