you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
