Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
