They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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