Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
