Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
