you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Barsexuality is the new black.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
