Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
