haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
