Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think people are normalizing furries
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
