I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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