My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
