Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
