your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
