flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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