I'm really into asian looking animals
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
