You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
