I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it because I queefed?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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