I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
