Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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