so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
