so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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