I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
