i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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