I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
