Christians are straight up FREAKS
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
