Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
