I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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